I've told George everything we need to correct in our shot list and he said he'll do it himself. Yesterday, he's send me a second draft of the shot list, where he added some of the points we've made during the meeting. He's also send a copy to our group chat, so that Aidan and Harriet could read it as well:
"1 Close up, side shot from the right of the hands holding a knife (right hand) and a capsicum, stretched from left to right, and quickly chopping the pepper on a cutting board. Other vegetables, spices and mushrooms are lying around. After the pepper is cut into small pieces, the board is lifted and moved to the left above a frying pan. The sauce pan, with yellow sauce inside (like a curry) comes into focus on the background as the board is moved away.
2 Close shot from the front of the hands, left hand holding the cutting board, right hand the knife and swiping the pieces off the board onto the sauce pan. The board and the knife are then put down. Zoom out, the woman's face is revealed, there is a big bruise on her right temple and and a wound from a punch on her bottom lip. A wooden spoon and a half full bottle of red wine are picked up, bottle in the right hand, spoon in the left hand. The woman pours the wine into the pan and stirs. Vegetables, spices and other cooking materials are lying next to the stove.
3 Long shot, of the woman from behind, she puts down the spoon and the bottle, dries her hands and walks to the right, tracking shot, the bruise on the temple is visible. She reaches a cupboard, opens it to take out a can, when she closes it we see a moving white figure in the blurry background in place of the cupboard's door. The woman walks back to the stove, tracking shot, the figure gets out of the frame. She stops by the stove and puts down the can to the left side.
4 High angle shot, close up on the sauce pan, the right hand gets above it and squeezes the juice out of half a lemon on the sauce. Then stirs the sauce with the wooden spoon, holding it in the same hand. A tumbling noise comes in as an ambient sound, she stops stirring.
5 Close up of the woman, she is mostly in the left side of the frame, looking ahead, a sign of fear in her eyes. Another tumbling noise, she turns her head to look to the right.
6 Close up on the radio from the front and slightly the right side, the hand approaches it and flicks the switch.
7 Close up of the woman from the same angle as in the shot 9, she walks in the direction of the sounds, tracking shot.
8 Long shot, very slow glide to the left, she walks around a corner, camera pushes out, there is a curved trail of blood on the floor
9 Medium on the woman, she takes a knife out of the holder on her left side behind her, uses right hand.
10 Medium shot from behind, tracking shot, she walks to the blood trail, it is on her left side, slows down for a moment to look at it, then goes on until she can see the door and a wounded man leaning against it, holding his left side where the bleeding is, a pool of blood around him, very slow glide to the right.
11 Close on him, he raises the left hand to pull the handle
12 Extreme close on the hand grabbing and turning the handle
13 Close of the woman staring at him coldly and angrily, she moves towards him, tracking shot and a push out, she throws away the knife to her right side, grabs his left leg and pulls it.
14 Close on the man, he falls on his back as he is moved away from the door and hits the head, moans as he is dragged further, tracking shot. Blood trail is on the floor under him.
15 Long shot, stable, the woman enters the frame on the left side, her back to the camera, dragging the man by two legs. She picks up the man and puts him on the chair next to it.
16 Close, side shot from the left of his hands on armrests of the chair, she wraps the silver tape around each hand, tying himself to the armrests.
17 Over the shoulder shot of the tied up man on the left part of the frame and the woman on the right part of the frame stepping back with the tape in her hands, looking at him. She then turns around to her left side, walks to the kitchen in the background, turns on the music and continues to chop.
18 Close up on the man, slightly from the left, he is pale and sweating, staring on the woman with horror, then glancing down on his taped hands
19 After a pause the man starts to move, as if attempting to free his hands from the tape, and moans. The woman stops chopping and turns around to her right side to look at him, holding a knife in the right hand.
Blackout."
However, there are still some parts I don't quite agree with, or which were somehow changed from our original story, so I replied him in Messenger with some corrections:
1) I don't think we need to add curry. Just let it be an empty pan before she throws veges into it.
2) I think we should reveal bruises a bit later, after she uses vine and just before she walks to the cupboard to build up the tension
3) When she comes to the cupboard the man doesn't move - he just sits there
4) We may add a shot where she licks the spoon to check the taste of the sauce - another shot where we can show her face and she still looks like a normal housewife
5) You also didn't add that she's quietly singing along the radio - I think it makes her look innocent and relaxed so the contrast then is bigger
6) She already walks after him in shot 8, but take a knife only in shot 9 - there must be a mistake
7) I don't think we need an extreme close up on the handle - it's not important + we may not be able to film it due to location
8. You wrote she looks coldly and angrily, but I think it was "she looses it"? She goes completely mad when she sees him
9) "he falls on his back" - if he's crawling on his stomach and then she grabs him he can't fall on his back, he'll fall on his stomach
10) guys, honestly, A WOMAN CAN'T LIFT UP A MAN and put him on a chair - he'll be too heavy for her, even if he doesn't resist. Clare wouldn't be able to lift Chris, or this would look terribly bad and unnatural. We have to re-think this part. Maybe, she just ties him to the chair with one hand, but he's still on the floor? Or, she just throws him on the floor - CAUSE HE CANT RUN AWAY ANYWAY - in reality she doesn't need to tie him up. And then she turns the second time when he tries to crawl away again - that's much more realistic.
11) I think we need to make the ending more horrible - lets do a black out when she starts to walk towards him. So he moves - she can do something like throwing a knife really angrily, then she turns to him, starts walking, and then a black out.
I don't want to be that picky, and I think George's done a good work, but I really want to make a good thriller sequence and to do that - we have to have a really good and detailed shot list on which we can rely. So we have to work hard and stretch ourselves further every time if we want to create something beautiful :D
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